God created you for unity. Unity no matter the circumstances or difficulties. And no matter where you are at today recognize the relationships around you.
Message from Scott & Jeanny
After you spend a few years in a relationship/marriage with someone you begin to lose some of the flame and excitement. You know what I am talking about. I (Scott) remember when Jeanny and I first started dating and even our first few years of marriage, the excitement was there, we enjoyed spending time together. If you know me, you know I am not a fan of shopping and lines. But there were many times that I went with Jeanny to the mall and spent countless hours standing and waiting. Why? Because the flame was there because I enjoyed spending time with her. I recognized what I had.
Remember when you used to stay up until 2 AM talking on the phone? Sometimes you even fell asleep while on the line? But now you don’t even have a word to say to them, the only time you talk with them is to discuss the ‘buisness’ of the home. Transporting kids from and to school, the bills, the doctor appointments, the dinner parties. But no other things are being discussed.
You aren’t discussing your emotions, your day, your issues, your dreams. You aren’t talking about your lives, just the ‘buisness.’ You share more about your day, feelings, and life with friends then you do with your spouse/significant other.
If you are not having fun and enjoying time with your spouse/significant other you are slowly creeping away from the design for relationships that God has created and beginning to creep to your own selfishness and comforts.
Do something, maybe your hobbies and likes are way different than theirs… Figure out a compromise, ya compromise doesn't sound that good when you're talking about relationships but it might be the exact place you need to start. And I believe over time your compromise will turn into contentment. The things that you may not enjoy but your spouse/significant other does will over time become harmonious.
If you aren’t enjoying time together the division will only grow. You’ll just co-exist.
The best way to move forward is by doing things together and talking when having fun together. This is especially true for men. Men are much more likely to talk and share when they are doing something, and activity, a hobby, something. So get out there, have fun, and start to talk.
Another way to have fun together is... Well you know, get it on! But only if you're married! Don’t get this twisted, don’t try to experience God’s blessing outside of His plan. We will talk about this topic later but one of the main reasons you first came together was the attraction, don’t neglect it now.
And finally take it back. Go back to the good old days. Back to the times, you both enjoyed certain activities and dates. Go out and enjoy time with each other. Be real together, laugh together, have fun!
A - What is keeping you from having fun? Go on a date night, schedule it now!
Q - Go back, back to when the relationship first started. Share about the first time you met, how you felt.
A - Play a game together. Maybe your favorite card game or board game, but make sure you talk when you play.
Q - Discuss the things you once loved to do together. How have they changed over the years?
A - Do something spontaneous together. Go out on a date, go on a walk, just GO!
Q - Talk about ways you can improve. How can you both compromise and over time discover contentment?
Q - Share the 5 most important things you love about your spouse/significant other.
A - Look at old videos and photos for laughs and memories. Have some fun!